Labor Day

At volleyball on Wednesday I accidentally called a guys unborn child “creepy”.  He had a sonogram picture, not even a day old, on his Iphone and dropped it down in front of my face.  I immediately thought it was a big black and white eyeball and opened my mouth a little sooner than I probably should have.  For the record, it did look like  a monster’s eyeball.

Early that day I drove threw a flock of butterflies on the highway and it was a beautiful massacre.  It was like my car was being followed by a trail of weightless rose petals falling from the sky.  My wind shield was a mess for the next couple hours though.

I thought up my idea of a perfect date while standing in a gas station bathroom this week.  Step 1: buy a lobster, construction paper, and a hot glue gun.  Step 2: boil the lobster and make a heartfelt card out of the paper and glue.  Step 3: enjoy dinner and present card.  Step 4: use rubber band from lobster claw and hot glue gun to make a homemade  textured cock-ring and fuck like bunnies!