Hotlanta

I was in the grocery store yesterday and I couldn’t help but notice a cute young thang shopping in the produce section.  So after I swept in for a closer look I realized that this lady was being assisted by an employee.  She was being assisted because, despite being at least 21 y/o, she had no idea what she was doing.  She had to ask for clarification for putting produce in a clear plastic bag, and she announced that she and her live in bf are trying to live on $50 a week for food.  Here’s a helpful tip, if you only have $50 for two people a week for food, maybe you weren’t ready to leave the nest and probably exit the produce section.  I personally spend about 8 dollars a week on raspberries.  I also found it very interesting that she is allergic to apples; I’ve never heard of that before.  I have told people that I am allergic to mushrooms, though I’m not.  I find that if you tell someone you have an allergy they make a bigger effort to avoid cooking with that item than if you just have serious disdain for mushrooms.  No one ever tells you that your allergy won’t be affected because they cut the culprit into realllly tiny pieces.  I CAN STILL TASTE THEM MOM.  This spring while eating at the always over the top Texas Roadhouse, my disgustingly chipper waiter kept pitching the shrimp deal, even after I had ordered.  So I told him I was Jewish.  He didn’t understand.

There is a slasher horror flick coming out soon called Sorority Row.  I really hate horror movies to begin with and this one looks particularly bad.  One of my biggest qualms, aside from horror movies do no good for society, is that they always kill beautiful young women.  So what if they have an attitude problem?  Hotties are America’s greatest asset.  Once China buys up all our treasury notes they are going to be looking to buy something new…bam!  More to the point it’s always far more tragic when a young person dies than an elderly person.  I don’t mean to sound heartless but it is true, look at the media coverage of teen deaths vs. elderly terminal patients.  So, I just think it would be fitting to have a horror movie starring a dozen of the sexiest 80 year olds hollywood has to offer.  The movie can have all the same suspense, but it will run longer because they move slower, and in the end no tools in the audience will make cracks about waisting a nice pair of titties.  And to make a social statement in sync with the times, Obama could be the bad guy along with his panel of death agents!