Myrtle Beach

Checking into my hotel I was given a bag of cheddar Simply Chex.  On the front of the bag it says “More of What you Love!”  When I eat Chex Mix the order in which I eat the ingredients are bagel chips, pretzels, bread sticks, and then I throw away the Chex and go find a different snack.

On my flight home Sunday I sat next to idiots.  First, the lady directly next to me was constatly trying to text message throughout the entire flight.  Not suprising she had no service but still continued to try and send the message every couple minutes.  Obviously when she was raised her mother taught her that rules, even those in place to protect people, apply to everyone but her.  Then the man across the aisle to my right had 7 mini shots of Baileys in a 90 minute flight.  What a balla.  The far younger woman he was courting said to herself, though the man and I both heard her, why would anyone pack a tennis racket.  The man replied because he probably wanted to practice tennis.  I was the one with a tennis racket sticking out of my bag.  I wonder when she first spoke, what she supposed; butterfly swatting?  I also found that delayed flights bring out the worst in humanity.  It seems very obvious to me to let people in the rows in front of you exit first.  If you are in a hurry, perhaps help the young lady with her bags!  When I got off a plane for a business trip this summer I was exiting the airport about the same time as the wife beating skin head that sat in front of me.  As we walked side by side I heard him proclaim into his cell phone that he was ready to get off the plane and away from all those stupid mother fuckers. And so on and so on.

At church camp in 6th grade, a fellow cabin mate of mine lost his second testicle.  I am certainly not suggesting that he numbered his testicles but that he couldn’t find two total.  He of course enlisted the medical expertise of one of the camp counselors.  Now I admit that at the time they did seem equally intelligent and aged as any other adult, but now looking back it seems ridiculous.  Can you imagine if you were the 22 y/o asked to look, but certainly not touch!, a 13 y/o’s ball sack.

I thought to myself earlier today, “It’s not that I’m masturbating to a children’s movie.  I’m just masturbating while a kid’s movie happens to be on TV.” #s all around!

I just finished Great Expectations.  I really liked this book! I found that it was clever, easy to relate to, and with an impressive length and classic title, lovely to brag about.  16 CDs long, what gerth!